Forced Precision

What it is

Demanding word-for-word accuracy about past conversations so any imperfection becomes grounds to dismiss the entire concern.

Sounds like

• "What EXACTLY did I say? Word for word."
• "That's not what I said. So the rest of your point is wrong too."
• "If you can't remember exactly, then it didn't happen the way you think."

Why it works

Memory doesn't work in transcripts. Nobody can recall a fight verbatim. By moving the goalpost to perfect recall, they win by default.

What it does to you

You stop trusting your own summary of what happened. You start pre-scripting conversations. You go quiet because the price of being 'wrong on a detail' is losing the whole conversation.

Pattern check

• —Do you rehearse conversations before having them?
• —Do arguments get derailed onto whether you're quoting correctly?
• —Do you feel like you need receipts just to describe how you feel?